To mate or not to mate
by dunedin girl
Summary: 'Tis a known fact in the vampire community, that when you meet your mate, your thoughts open up to each other. 'Tis also a known fact that the bond is complete, olnly once mates have consummated their mating. Meet Edward. 110 year old vampire. A mind reader. Trying to find his mate. Entry for Fandom for Leukemia & Leukoma Society


To mate or not to mate

Author: dunedin girl

Beta: Jesuisb

Rating MA Over 18's only

Category: Romance/Humour

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, its characters, and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary: 'Tis a known fact in the vampire community, that when you meet your mate, your thoughts open up to each other. 'Tis also a known fact that the bond is complete, once mates have consummated their mating. Meet Edward. 110 year old vampire. A mind reader. Trying to find his mate. **

"_This is such a brilliant day to start my new diet."... "And I have to pick up the children, just so his small dick can fuck his secretary again..." "Here comes the rain, again falling on my head like a tragedy, falling on my head like a new emotion..." "I just wish someone could just sense how lonely I feel and maybe feel..." "OMG! Look at this hunkalicious man specimen. I swear this is my soulmate. And he doesn't even have to utter a word. How would he react if I licked his jaw?..."_

"Excuse me Miss?" I turned and saw her. I'm pretty sure this is not my mate, but you have to try in life. Again and again. And again. She was orange. Her hair stank of bleach.

She is Lauren. She has fake boobs. Colour too. Nails as well. I'm pretty her top is synthetic too.

And I had to confirm, if I had to pay fifteen lifetimes of bad karma, by getting her to sleep with me.

"_I can't believe, Mr Hunkalicious, has such a big dick. Oh, yes Lauren girl, you have hit the jack pot with this one. Now let's see if he knows where my clit is...oh my! He knows! He knows! Now, the only thing left is to convince him, I'm not a slut."_

Sometimes I wonder, if my super power is to keep a boner when all these women go on and on with their internal banter. From very crass to very shy to very kinky to just plainly annoying. No wonder why some men just simply shut down. It's because they've had a glimpse into some of these women's thoughts. As in all cases of PTSD, the memory is completely wiped from their minds. But in my case that is not possible. Vampire nature ensures you remember every painful detail of everything.

Number one was Tanya, part of the befriended Denali coven. She saw me and guaranteed to me, I was her mate. I asked her what I thought and she replied there was no time to waste. A second later she had torn my pants in their living room and had me in her mouth. She was riding me so hard I was thinking she would tear my limbs off accidentally. Then, as these things happen, Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland popped to mind along with the line "Off with his head!". I laughed so hard, but oblivious Tanya thought that was me reaching ecstasy. Both her sisters asked for a different and might I add double flavour of the Denali coven. I politely declined and that was the last I kept in touch with the coven. Alice would warn me of their decisions to visit, and I would conveniently disappear.

Number two, was Jane of the Volturi Guard, when the Italian brothers went on an acquisition frenzy. Jane was into pain. Namely, my pain. She used her gift to incapacitate me and screamed with delight when I managed to keep my dick hard for her sadistic ways. My reasoning was to be rid of her and the Volturi once and for all. When I showed her the video she used her gift on me full force. I was literally shattered after that experience but Alice showed up with the multiple copies. This was not looking for my mate. This was trying to get rid of trouble.

Number three, was Zafrina. Zafrina was human, but mental. She kept saying I was the one. Uh huh. The one. Antichrist style. She cut herself when we were having sex and I had to run for _her _life, not mine. I closed my nose, stopped breathing and left. I read the newspapers the next day that she was found bled out in her apartment. Somebody had done that, but not me. Local cults were blamed for promoting human sacrifices. What a mess.

And no, for the love of all that's holy, Lauren is not my mate. Nor was Jessica, Abby, Helen, Paris (what a fucking pretentious name), Katie, Jennifer and however many more. Some human, some vampires. From sex swings, to exhibitionism, to bondage, to orders being handed out to and fro, I'm honestly fucking fed up, pun very much intended. Even though I'm getting plenty of action, this is the type of action that makes me feel more lonely than ever. Like I am not meant be with someone. That thought resonates in me, and fills me with an inexplicable sadness.

I'm walking the streets in the evening again, and I'm trying to block out all the mental noise of women and men, not even remotely concerned with turning on the 'madar', you know, the mate radar. And in that moment, the mental buzzing, the sounds of traffic that whisper all the way from the motorway, and the changing colours of the twilight turning into night, I realise. What I probably should have a long time ago. I'm being chosen, every time. Every time, I stumble clumsily on the thoughts of hormonal women young and old, that fancy me. It's easy to fancy me, and NO I don't mean it in _that_ way. No, I mean it's easy to fancy any vampire. Our essence and our looks are there to entice prey.

Even though me and my coven, have given up on the human blood, that doesn't mean that our natural attributes are not meant to attract them in. I'm getting closer and closer to the epiphany, I can taste it. It's simple though, I should get to choose.

A woman I like. Not someone trashy, skanky, too forward, too cougar. Not too loud, not with a cackling laughter, or too much bleach. A woman for me. I start to think that everything does happen for a reason. Maybe all these experiences, contributed to find what I _don't _want. A girl, who like me, enjoys a walk in the park, or the quiet of night time or even the moon. A woman who appreciates the sea, and likes different kinds of music.

I come to a halting stop as my perfect memory starts working at the speed of lightning. I already know her. She's been there, in the background all this time. This shy, unassuming girl. The irony is, we've talked hundreds of times. We've even had a passing chuckle. The book store girl, Bella. She's beautiful, in an all natural way, with silky brown hair with shades of red and honey in it. With big, soulful, milk chocolate eyes that seem to stare into the depths of your soul. With ivory skin, that turns a lovely peachy shade if she's been out in the sun and an even lovelier shade of pink when she blushes. The girl that's chuckling to a book, or dries her eyes reading. She's being compassionate to her imaginary friends, or closes the book abruptly and takes a long sigh.

She's always there, speaking of her loneliness in her mind, but not expressing any clear feelings about me. She has thought on the odd occasion that I looked happier or sadder one day or another. She had even noticed the amber colour of my eyes. That proves she cares, and she cares without asking anything in return. In fact, she has never asked for anything in return. She is selfless, and always thinks about her father who stays in Forks, if he's faring well, if he's eating well. She drives an old Chevy truck that was her homecoming gift when she had moved back to stay with him.

The realisations flood me in a nanosecond, and I resume walking. Only my pace is as fast as walking can allow to not betray my inhuman nature.

How did I ever expect my mate to come knocking on my door? Am I that stupid? Why would I expect someone, least of all my mate to approach me in the same crude manner I've been approached by all these women, all this time. I should, however, expect to get her to know me, the man of vampire nature, that denies said nature so he can still engage in the joys of society. All these women chose me because they thought I was hot and saw jaws and sex hair.

My mate, should be wined, dined and wooed. My mate deserves romantic music and dancing cheek to cheek. I feel it deep in my unbeating heart, something has ignited. Something I thought had been lost for ever. Human urges, excitement and yearning.

"_He seems so lonely..." "I wish I had the courage for more than the usual pleasantries...I bet he's had an interesting life..." "Sometimes, I just feel that he feels so trapped." "I wish I could tell him not to feel alone, he has a friend in me." _

Recalling her thoughts startles me how often she's sensed my mood, or seen right through me for that matter...

My walking turns into sprinting, as I reach her bookstore. It's dark, but I can hear a heartbeat outside. It's erratic and my first thought which sends me into a frenzy is that she's in danger. I can't hear anybody else's thoughts and I would be able to smell a vampire from here.

Then I focus on her thoughts, as I circle the bookstore, heading for the back entrance through the narrow alley in vampire speed.

"_Edward, these are your hands playing with my hard nipples. Oh baby just like that!"_

I'm rock hard in a split second and I approach her in her stock room. Her vision renders me speechless and my hand goes to palm my painful erection. Her shirt is open and her hands are pinching hard her nipples above her bra and tank top.

She is sitting on her desk, her back against the wall and her eyes are closed, her breaths coming in short pants and her legs are spread open and placed on each side of her at the edge of the desk.

"_I wish you were here, I wish these were your hands on my body, your lips on mine."_

I had to make a decision. I wanted her so badly, her thoughts alluring me and in that moment, whilst I was holding my hard dick in my hand, I knew: she was the one.

I made my way inside, hoping not to startle her. Bella was still lost in lust and her wonderful flush had returned full force, peppering her skin with a delicious colour. I stood in front of her at the desk.

Her eyes half opened and then the piercing scream followed. She jumped off the desk and gave herself the once over, making a proverbial phew of relief as she was still fully clothed.

"E-e-edward? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"It's time I made the right choice, Bella."

"How did you get in? Did you break in? If you want money, I can..."

I did what every mate would do for their mate in distress. I moved closer to her, and took her in my arms. My forehead touched hers and my hands moved in soothing circles down her back.

I felt her hands moving reluctantly from being frozen on her sides to my back. Experimentally, they tightened just slightly around my torso. My frozen heart melted at her sigh.

"Bella..." I sighed her name in prayer.

"How did you get in here, Edward?" she whispered but didn't let me go.

"Through the window of the stock room." I whispered back. Her eyes lifted on mine.

"Did you see me..." she let the words hang in the air, as the atmosphere between crackled between us. We were between erotic and tender and I didn't mind if things went either way. I realised that somehow, she understood.

"Yes", I answered. She stiffened but didn't let go. Thank God for small mercies. I took an unnecessary breath.

"Can I try something, sweet girl?" Her eyes fluttered close and she pressed her head against my chest, nodding her agreement.

I placed my right hand on her hair, gathering some loose strands behind her ear. I lower my head as she lifts hers. Our lips are so close, I can feel her sweet breath on my face. It's hot and it smells like Bella. Her eyes stared into mine as her tongue darts out to moisten her pink lips. The anticipation of what is to come is killing me in the most sensuous of ways.

It's a first for me. Leading this is new and I can admit a bit refreshing. She gives me the time I need to feel ready. Our lips are just there, mere inch apart. I close the distance and I touch her lips with mine. What ignites inside me is feral. I want to claim, own, use and worship her.

I realise that her mind is now quiet to me. Our lips mould together and I'm being given the gift of silence. Everything is quiet bar the sounds of our lips and breaths mixing together.

I know it's her. Thoughts of us hunting together running through my mind, her eyes amber like mine. She's my mate.

Her hands leave my back and come to tangle in my hair. I want her like I've not wanted anyone ever. My hand in her back starts roaming her soft body. She's all woman, and her skin is hot to my touch. I know I have to give her the right to make a choice before the bond kicks in. I know I would have wanted that choice. I know I have to tell her what I am, because if we go down the mating route, she will need to become like me.

When I try to pull away she pushes me back towards her. I gently try to pull away. I can smell her sweet arousal coming from within the confines of her jeans but I know, I _have_ to stop. She needs to choose. Just as I did.

"Bella, love," I say panting as her lips touch my own again, in a way that is affirming what has happened, nothing short of a miracle.

"Less talking, more kissing," she says in a whiny voice. Her hands try to push me back but I have to stand firm.

"Bella, we should do things right," I say softly. She huffs and places her small hands on my shoulder. She looks at me and she is beauty incarnate. Her eyes are full of innocence and a bit of frustration and her skin is flushed. Full lips that are slightly swollen and red from kissing. I'm trying to control myself. Otherwise I'll regret this, and maybe so will she.

"Let's go on a date. You get to know me, and I get to know you. I can also guarantee more kissing!" I suggest hoping she will not reject me.

"Okay, a date," she tries the word on her mouth.

~0~

That Saturday we met for lunch. She ate her soup and turkey sandwich whilst I pretended to drink a latte. I kept my pretences to a minimum. She should be able to see through me.

She spoke fondly of both her parents. When she mentioned her mom, a faraway look of nostalgia filled her eyes. Her stories are rich in detail and animated, I find myself engrossed in her. I see in her eyes, the guide to all her feelings. She smiles and then reminisces, speaking of her mother and her contagious enthusiasm, her numerous hobbies and her experimental cooking. The odd touches are driving me crazy but I have to reel it in.

I tell her about my adoptive parents and siblings, speaking also of my birth parents and their tragic death. I tell her about the compassion of both my parents and speak of my teenage rebellion. She listens intently and watches me even more closely. Her inquisitive eyes are scanning everything. My shoulders rising and falling from breathing, that ray of sun I was so careful to avoid. The fact that I've been nursing cold coffee for more than a half hour.

"Edward, can I ask something?" She says and I stiffen as I feel the shit is about ready to hit the proverbial fan.

"Okay," I answer quietly.

"Tell me what you are." Fact. No question mark. No trepidation.

I proceed to tell her everything. The more I share the more relief I feel. I tell her about my gift and how she suppresses it. I tell her of my excruciating transformation on my deathbed from Carlisle. The additions to the family and I explain to her the details of vampire mating. I tell her about how I wanted to give her a choice. How I honestly thought it was her but I wanted her to know me both man and vampire, and decide whether she wanted me. I told her about the problems of being a mind reader and being surrounded by passionately devoted mated couples. I also tell her about them. I give her the number. I tell her some highlights, no particulars.

Her stance looks pensive, hands folded on her lap, eyes downcast, filled with unshed tears. Fear cripples me as my selfish thought before she speaks is that I maybe losing my only chance at happiness.

"Edward, I need time to process all this. You say we are mates. Well, to be honest, I'm not convinced. My mate would believe in us. I don't think you ever did. I had faith all my life, that you were out there. I had faith and I waited patiently for the time to be right so we could find each other. I knew you were my perfect one, the moment I laid eyes on you. Why didn't you have faith? Why did you not believe that the puzzle pieces would fall into place? Why did you have to go looking as if time was not on your side, or looks or youth for that matter," with that she gets up and leaves the coffee shop.

Her words shattered my heart. I see where she's coming from. I can relate. I was so desperate to belong, I didn't even know when, where or with whom that would happen. I just wanted to be loved and mated and not spend 100 years amongst mated couples feeling the odd man out. She is right, I should have put more faith in us. I should have waited. But I didn't. The funny thing is, this is the only time I did things right.

In the days that followed, I was a poor excuse of a stalker. I heard her sleep talk and sigh my name. I felt her sadness when she was at work, at home, grocery shopping. She talked and ate less.

"What the fuck do you want Alice?" I answered my phone annoyance seeping through my clenched teeth at her interruption.

"Well fuck you too, dear brother. I'm staging an intervention to save your slutty bum. You are both getting miserable without each other. It's not getting better. I've seen you both going crazy. This is what you need to do..."

I heard her explain the plan, but held small hope that she would accept me as her partner.

The following night Bella's apartment has been transformed into an Italian bistro with candles that gave an soft illumination around the table. I know she's been working late, not sleeping well and not eating well. I miss her. Even before, our friendship and conversations came so easily, so comfortably. We were on the same wavelength. Of course, I would screw up the only thing that mattered in my mundane existence.

The hot lasagna is served and the garlic bread and salad is on the table. The soft music was playing, Norah Jones asking to come away with us. Bella pushed the key through the door. Walking in, her bag and keys dropped to the floor as her hand flew to her mouth. Her eyes took in her small living room surroundings. What shocked me the most, was her reaction. Her eyes locked on mine. Then she closed the door behind her and ran into my arms. She nuzzled her head on my chest.

"I missed you. It's been unbearable without you." Her hands moved from my waist to my shoulders and from there, to my hair.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I know what you mean about my past. I should have placed faith in us to carry me through."

"Yes, but it's in the past. You did what you thought was right to get to me." her hand caressed my cheek lovingly.

I held her and swayed us together. Her scent was surrounding us like a swirly cloud. I was in love. She was not my mate. I recalled all the conversations we had. The classics in both music and literature, events to run in the shop, discussions on poetry. Her excitement when she described Austen as one of the first feminists.

"Bella, I love you." I whispered, and I felt her shiver.

"You do?" Her surprised eyes met mine with a concentration that betrayed her self-doubt.

"I do, I love you. I can be anything you want me to be. I don't care about convention. I can be your friend or I can be your lover it doesn't matter anymore. The feelings I feel for you are not mandatory. I feel these things for you because we are compatible in everything but natu..."

"Kiss me," her tone demanding and allowing no refusal whatsoever.

"But I'm trying to explain that..."

"Shut up and kiss me."

Her hands were on my hair, pushing my head to meet hers as she stood on her toes to get closer. I closed my eyes, and the onslaught of feelings that erupted in me left me breathless and speechless.

Her tongue darted out to lick my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to her. We kissed and kissed. I was elated that Bella wanted me.

Our foreheads touched as she moved back slightly to catch her breath.

"I want you, Edward." she whispered.

"Dinner first?"

"Okay."

I pushed her chair for her and we talked about our weeks. I admitted I might have been an eye on her, which she dismissed muttering "stalker" under her breath. She ate and I watched her lips surround a bite of lasagna. I never considered eating erotic, but I think I might be joining Bella in all her meals just to see her eyes close and hum in contentment.

We talked about us, our hopes and dreams for the future. I said to her that she doesn't to be like me if she doesn't want to. I promised to love her forever, and was rewarded with another sweet kiss.

"I'm full," she placed her hands on her tummy and rubbed circles.

"Thank you for dinner."

"No worries at all."

"Let's move to the sofa, shall we? I need to be more comfortable after all this food," she grabbed my hand, twined our fingers and walked to the sofa, where she pushed me and sat on my lap on the side.

Her hands moved to my hair, and mischievous eyes smiled before leaning in to kiss me. I felt the pull then, stronger than ever.

"Edward, what did you say?"

"Nothing, sweetheart."

"No you said something about a pull?"

"I didn't say anything... Oh, let me try something!"

_I love Bella, she is the cutest, sweetest, hottest, best boobies in the whole wide world girl. She is the only one for me. _

"You love me, something about me having the best boobies in the world? I can read your mind?"

"I think you can. Let me show you what I want to do to you, baby," I gave her what I thought was a sexy wink, then thought about Bella, naked, spread while I bury my head between her legs. I think of me sucking her breasts, and as I get hard thinking of my cock pumping into her sweet pussy, I smell her arousal. I open my eyes and take the vision before me. Her thighs are tightly clenched, her breasts are heaving with her small pants and her skin is perfectly flushed.

"Take me to the bedroom Edward, make me yours. Please."

I lift her from the sofa and take her to the bedroom. We are both silent but our bodies show their need as she looks at me with hooded eyes full of lust and she reaches for the buttons of my shirt.

I close the distance between us and I kiss her, our tongues tenderly massaging each other and I need more. She reveals my naked torso and runs her fingers on my chest and torso, pleasure running through me when she pinches playfully my nipples. She touches every crevice of my torso and then brings her tongue out to play. Her hot tongue sends ripples of pleasure through me as she licks my ear, collarbone and moves to my nipple.

I lift her top and see her hardened nipples underneath the lace of her bra. I lower one cup and I start kissing down from her jaw. Her soft mewls and moans of pleasure have me painfully straining against the denim of my jeans. My thoughts are running wild and knowing she can see and feel what I feel is driving me crazy.

I move my tongue lower at her collarbone, lick her shoulder a bit and move to capture the exposed nipple with my mouth.

"Edward, oh this feels so good." she sighs and holds my hair as she arches her back shoving more of her breast into my eager mouth. I lower her other cup and roll her other nipple between my thumb and forefinger and I feel her starting to buck her hips seeking friction.

"I need more, baby, please."

"Keep fucking begging, love and I'll have you scream my name soon," I warn and she groans loudly and moves my head from her one breast to the other.

I release my hands and proceed to lift her linen skirt and the smell of her wet panties hit me like a brick wall.

"I need to taste you Bella. I can smell how turned on your sweet pussy is. Is that all for me?"

"Yes, yes, shove your head between my legs and eat my horny pussy. Make it come all over your face."

I love her dirty talk and how uninhibited she feels with me. I obey her like the hungry man I am and I tear her panties away from her body. I bring her torn panties and she opens her eyes whilst I sniff them and suck the damp fabric into my mouth.

"Stop teasing me Edward, and eat my pussy. She unclasps her bra and unzips her skirt lifting her hips off the bed so I can help her remove it.

She then spreads her leg, as in my fantasy, and I get a glimpse of her sweet pussy. Her clit is swollen and protrudes from its hood and there are soft curls on the top of her mound whilst the rest of her is bare. Her labia is swollen and glistening from her arousal.

I waste no time and proceed to lick her from her asshole to her clit. I love it when she guides my head to her clit and I spread her pussy lips apart revealing her wet hole.

"I'm gonna lick this pretty pussy so good. Are you going to come for me?" I ask her.

"Yes, Edward, please, please put your mouth on me."

I slide one finger inside her and her hips lift from the bed. I push her down with my other hand and get a second finger in her tight pussy.

I release a breath on her swollen clit and she moans loudly. I proceed to fuck her with my fingers and tongue pumping in and out slowly. I suck her entire clit into my mouth and her taste is amazing, like nectar on my lips.

"Stop teasing me, Edward, please give me more..." she sighs and pushes her pussy on my face. I start going slightly faster and feel her walls fluttering every time I hit her G- spot with my fingers. I press my tongue on her clit again and again while I suck my mouth around it.

My fingers are making splashing sounds from her creamed pussy and I roar on her clit when she screams my name and other expletives and her pussy closes in like a vice around my fingers and gushes her cream which I lap from her.

Her eyes open slightly. She smiles lazily, but starts removing my belt buckle. I'm soon naked in front of her and she's eyeing my cock hungrily.

"I want you inside me, Edward, right the fuck now."

I tease her with mental images of me pumping my cock inside her, my cum spilling on her thighs and her hands reaching to gather it and lick it.

"Now, Edward, please baby."

I start rubbing the underside of my cock on her wet pussy, tapping her over-sensitive clit causing her to buck her hips again. I moisten my dick and it gets harder when more wetness is seeping out of her coating my cock with her arousal.

"No more teasing," she says and grabs my cock and places it in her entrance. Who am I to disagree?

I start pushing into her, and her heat and tightness envelops me in a moist dream. I close my eyes to concentrate because I feel on the brink of a spiritual experience.

"You're so tight and wet, baby." I tell her.

The moment of fucking is effectively over. When I look into her eyes, I know the mating bond is complete. We share the same vision of eternity as vampires, hunting together, and smiling at each other.

"I want everything with you," she says in a reverent whisper.

"I know," I acknowledge.

I slide inside her and I still when our hips meet. Her eyes flutter close and her head falls back. A searching hand of hers is touching where we're joined.

"It's never been like that for me." I tell her because she deserves to know that no other experience even pales by comparison.

"I know. Make love to me now."

When I pull out and move back inside torturously slow, I know what she's feeling because I'm feeling the same thing. This is a sacred moment for both of us.

My body hovers over hers and I grab her one leg, spreading her wider and driving deeper into her. Her hands move on my butt and controls my movements like that. It's a sensation overload as her clit rubs against my pelvic bone. My balls are slapping against her back entrance and I can feel it contracting with my thrusts.

She pushes me inside her faster and faster, and sweat appears on her hairline and breasts. I cover her nipple with my mouth as she lifts her pelvis higher and her knee joins my shoulder as I use her thigh for leverage.

Our eyes are open and connecting in ways I couldn't have even fathomed and I feel her starting to tighten around me.

I increase speed, pushing into her like a piston as my hand finds her clit and pinches it pushing it out of its hood and into my fingers.

She starts coming hard, and my dick is pushed deeper even inside her hot pussy as it spasms all around me.

"Bella, my mate," I'm roaring as my seed is coating her pussy in long spurts. She screams my name. I keep pushing into her while she comes down from her high.

Her breaths are starting to calm down whilst her heartbeat slows too. I open my eyes and I see her looking into mine adoringly. Our mating bond is this crackling energy between us.

"What now?" she asks. As per my fantasy, she collects some of our joined cum with her finger and sucks it into her mouth, swirling it, giving a contended hum.

"Now, we have forever." I say simply and move to kiss our joined taste from her lips.

The End.


End file.
